If there’s one concept of life that constantly reminds me of how human I am, it would be my inability to have absolute control. Not to toot my own horn, but I am probably the most organised, structured person I know. If something requires planning, call on me and I’m whipping out drawing map full of “how’s and when’s”. My phone and computer is filled with applications, dozens of software or written notes holding my whole life together. Be it a birthday, a call reminder, a text, even a thought, I have everything scheduled, including a scheduled task to review my scheduled tasks. I know, I know, judge not.

It’s the desire to control the who, what, where, how and why that concerns me. However, in all my planning, I have been faced with things I didn’t see coming. I never “scheduled” a break up, a bed ridden sickness, a non-refundable cancelled event or a car accident that would render me car-less.

I sought perfection in the absence of a perfect God.

A couple years ago, I banked my life savings on a new job opportunity that I would eventually lose. I created a new budget on this “new income”, bought new work clothes and mentally prepared for this “new me”. But in all my extensive preparation, I didn’t prepare for a rejection. I had what I call “selective faith”. That is simply choosing where I wanted to hold steadfast faith for what I planned and not what God had planned. I wanted so much control on my life, I wanted everything figured out. 

I can imagine God watching me run around like; I made the earth. He could see my future, waiting for the time I would grow weary so He could carry me. But I am so stubborn; as with many of His children. The awesomeness of getting tired of being in control, is having enough strength to run to the God that does not get tired.

My end is His beginning.

Surrendering is letting go. It is the humble submission of oneself to the power of a higher authority. How long does it take for us to “give in”? Why do we wait to hit rock bottom and “have nowhere else to go”? Mere humans we are, aren't we? Surrendering is a form of worship. It is magnifying who God is. By doing so you acknowledge the “mightiness” of God in your life.

Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet. 
— JAMES 4 :10

I translate this to: “Kneel before Him so He can lift you up”. We get so caught up in our earthly responsibilities that we get on this constant chase for ‘more’. It could be wealth, status, recognition or in my case ‘control’ that we begin to walk in a light where we are the gods of our lives forgetting we have a limit.

Surrendering is letting down our pride and saying; You know what, I can’t. Show me how or better yet, take it all from me and do according to you. It’s accepting your limit and submitting to The One Without Limit. There’s peace knowing that you don't have to figure it out, because God will. Don’t burn out chasing after absolute control and structure. 

Let go and Let God. Surrender.

Words by Ashley Roberts

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